"Don't think your pooch will just get used to him over time," Fisher says. Of course, she didn’t know it at the time, but in a conversation with Obie’s previous owner, she found out that a family member had once become overly inebriated at a Christmas party, and frightened Obie by being loud. Maybe in exchange for him/her allowing Rocco to sleep on the bed, you agree that he won’t be ruining the other furniture? Most of us compromise in different ways every day of our lives. That means: If you do not see your comment posted immediately, it is being reviewed by the moderation team and may appear shortly, generally within an hour. Show your SO how to do this. Non-subscribers can read and sort comments but will not be able to engage with them in any way. Here’s how to proceed. BUT he hates the man next door. “My ex-boyfriend had a real problem with the dogs and rarely spent time at my house, even though the dogs loved him—andeveryone else, for that matter,” Heying says. So, what was the problem with Obie? It’s like they say – you can always get another partner. I now live at his house with my two small dogs. So, you have to find out if this issue is due to jealousy, or to fear of other people. If the problem is just disinterest, that’s not a biggie. Now I’m kicked out with two fur kids nowhere to go, low on funds. Does your dog already know how to do a trick? Perhaps a compromise here would be buying pet insurance. Click here to subscribe. "Wait just right there. How old are you?" However before you run off and get rid of pooky or even say adios to the new flame you need to … Is he destructive? My dog hates my boyfriend? Comments that violate our community guidelines will not be posted. There’s no rule that says “One must be touched”. Insist on polite behaviour but maintain the distance. And you also love your boyfriend or your girlfriend. You love your dog. Share. But this isn’t good enough. If you are not sure if your boyfriend loves or hates you, then here are 10 signs that will show you that your boyfriend hates you: This is my dog, my whole world!”, Your partner might not feel the same way. You might also have to compromise where your dog is concerned. I'd end it with any potential suitor who Ruby didn't wiggle her intolerably cute bum for. If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re going to be pooling resources, you absolutely have to talk about money, and not just how to divide household expenses. (Don’t read this, IKEA monkey!). Getting on the furniture after repeatedly being told not to? A friend of mine had an English Mastiff named Oberon, Obie for short. He is very well housebroken at all other times, so I know this is just his way of acting mad. Dogs love hearing their name, so every time your partner says “Good boy, Rocco,” in response to the dog successfully doing a trick, the dog associates the words with something that is already pleasurable. PLEASE READ MY DISCLOSURE FOR MORE INFO. Your dog wants to bond with you. He knew I had dogs before I agreed to move in with him. Issues like whether the dog sleeps on the bed or is allowed on the furniture, permitted to swim in the pool, and so on, need to be dealt with at the outset. Someone could get hurt. Welcome to The Globe and Mail’s comment community. Find out what those behaviors are. Others become anxious or show signs of aggression, like growling or baring their teeth. Usually, when problems occur between a dog owner’s partner and the dog, it’s because the relationship is new and neither party quite knows what the other wants, what’s a deal-breaker, and what can be negotiated. On this, we agree. You and your SO may never agree on every single thing when it comes to your dog, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to make it work. He was basically a sociable dog, but my friend had a bit of a problem with him. This is where you have to put your detective hat on, and start digging. Sometimes it’s simple jealousy, and that’s usually easily dealt with. Welcome to the first instalment of Pet Detective, a new column where The Globe's Amberly McAteer will find answers to the health and behaviour problems of our beloved four-legged pals. My friend had handed her boyfriend a glass of wine, and that’s what set Obie off. If the dog does not trust him, I would be more careful of your boyfriend. New So a meeting in the park – "neutral ground" – will be really helpful. You just have to work at it. Most training sessions involve liberal use of treats and praise. Think of Oscar Madison and Felix Unger of “Odd Couple” fame. My friend’s boyfriend sat down on the sofa, and as anyone with a grain of sense would do when faced with 200 pounds of snarling English Mastiff, didn’t move another muscle for the rest of the night. "This new boyfriend might have Rasta braids or a limp – it's likely something the dog hasn't been socialized to, and that will come with time and training. Dear Dog Lady, When I was 17, I broke up with a man whom I have missed for 30-some years. The thing is, dogs always have a reason for their behavior. Readers can also interact with The Globe on Facebook and Twitter . The question: My dog – a four-year-old miniature pinscher – hates my new boyfriend. you provide food, water and shelter) and wants to keep it that way. You already know how you touch your dog, so add words to the interaction. You may be surprised, Due to technical reasons, we have temporarily removed commenting from our articles. Thank you for your patience. Can he sit and wait for his toy to be thrown to him? If your significant other leans forward when approaching the dog, the dog might react fearfully. My beagle is sweet as he can be. But what if it’s outright hostility? Sometimes, it can be well-nigh impossible to understand the source of the problem your dog and your partner are having with one another. It might not be obvious, might not be easily understood, and might not even make sense to you, as a human. House of Highlights Recommended for you. Tweet. ... You're dog's jealous of the attention you give to your boyfriend. 351 King Street East, Suite 1600, Toronto, ON Canada, M5A 0N1, Just $1.99 per week for the first 24 weeks, var select={root:".js-sub-pencil",control:".js-sub-pencil-control",open:"o-sub-pencil--open",closed:"o-sub-pencil--closed"},dom={},allowExpand=!0;function pencilInit(o){var e=arguments.length>1&&void 0!==arguments[1]&&arguments[1];select.root=o,dom.root=document.querySelector(select.root),dom.root&&(dom.control=document.querySelector(select.control),dom.control.addEventListener("click",onToggleClicked),setPanelState(e),window.addEventListener("scroll",onWindowScroll),dom.root.removeAttribute("hidden"))}function isPanelOpen(){return dom.root.classList.contains(select.open)}function setPanelState(o){dom.root.classList[o?"add":"remove"](select.open),dom.root.classList[o? Help! They were polar opposites, and yet somehow managed to live together in relative compatibility. Dogs … You hate anchovies on pizza, and your partner loves them, so you get half anchovies and half pepperoni. If you have an aggressive and/or anxious dog, don’t let guests approach them (keep your dog behind you) and don’t force them to endure pats. But the second my boyfriend enters my condo, she starts growling, showing her teeth, pacing. ", The behaviour won't get better on its own, either. Dogs are normally good judges of character. … I don't want her to give up her dog, but I don't want people to end relationships that could work. My Dog Hates My Husband! Long post ahead, beware: Our story may not be typical, being a gay couple, but I hope some can relate or at least provide some advice/insight. Similarly, why does your pooch welcome the pizza man or the mail guy? My dog hates my new boyfriend. Pehaps your boyfriend resents the dog because he wants to spend time with you, but you want to spend time with the dog. It's less about finding a father figure for her (although sharing poop-scooping responsibilities would be nice), but more about her canine "Spidey senses." “If Rocco gets cancer, and needs treatment that will cost $4,000 or more, are you going to give me a hard time, or agree that I should spend the money?”. Do you think he was hit by a man? I tell her I'm nearing 30, and she laughs for an awkwardly long time. Open the Lines of Communication Early On, 3 Things to Do If Your Dog Hates a Friend or Family Member (Video), 3 Reasons Your Dog Hates Your Smartphone (Video). If your partner tells you “I hate that dog,” that’s not specific, and it’s probably not even true. You just can’t get the two of them to warm up to each other. Advice please! My boyfriend hates my dog and won’t let him at his apartment, but insists I stay there. However, you’re already in a relationship – with your dog. Send your questions to [email protected] (All questions will be published anonymously.). If you are looking to give feedback on our new site, please send it along to, To view this site properly, enable cookies in your browser. I keep a clean house,clean dogs. Then you have another decision to make. Accordingly, your relationship with your dog trumps most others you have with the human variety. Like a good couples therapist, Fisher wants you to put in some effort before booting the boy. Can it happen? My … Obie was afraid that my friend’s boyfriend might also become loud and obnoxious, so he was reacting accordingly. Okay, so here’s the problem. Usually, men are bigger and taller than women, and they have deeper voices. Your dog is a) jealous of the intruder and b) fearful because the intruder does not look like the people that he is used to. Every time i bring him to my house my dog always bites him by the leg -_-but i don't want to lock the dog up or hit him i not nasty lol. My husband, Ben, and I were recently at a friend’s house; to my surprise, my friend's dog reacted fearfully to Ben, who was leaning forward in his chair with his arms resting on his legs, looking at the dog. You need to be specific about what you expect in the context of your partner’s relationship with your dog, and you have the right to demand that your partner do the same. Follow topics and authors relevant to your reading interests. “Must not have dog,” is the tagline of my single girlfriend on her online dating profile. Linda Michaels, dog psychologist and author of Do No Harm Dog Training and Behavior Manual: Sadly, but most likely, no one’s going to feel the way you feel about your pet. She'll eventually hide in the bathroom but isn't a happy dog when he's there. I believe that compromising is the most important thing you can do in ensuring a loving, healthy relationship between your significant other and your dog. One night she invited her boyfriend over for a spaghetti dinner and a nice bottle of wine, and Obie, who was usually just fine with visitors, positioned himself between my friend and her boyfriend, showed all 97 of his teeth, and made it very clear that there had better not be even one more step forward. Often, in the early stages of a relationship, one partner will suppress his or her preferences, only to have them fester and surface later on. I'm not sure I agree. Often, dogs will react fearfully to people because of bad socialization. Your dog may be perfectly calm and have no behavior problems around women and children, but it may become a completely different dog when a man enters the room or tries to approach. Does Your Dog Hate You? If your dog doesn’t seem to like your boyfriend, you should allow the two to bond in a neutral setting, such as a dog park. The dog knows what is expected, and so does your SO, so they can interact together. Positive reinforcement is always best – catch your dog doing something right, and then offer praise. Your dog is telling you in every way he can that boy-fiend is not to be trusted. Every time he comes in the door, my dog barks at him. Min-pin won't just grow to accept his presence, so "you have to take steps to make that happen.". My grandmother always used to say that there were only two things that would ever cause trouble in a relationship – money, and in-laws. I’d hate it if someone touched me without my permission. But don't forget who's top dog in your heart. "I have to ask whether there's some niggling part in your brain, where you weren't over the moon with this guy, and you looked to Ruby to validate that," says Fisher who, in retrospect, has a point. If your man will put in the time to make things right with min-pin, give it a whirl. Triple snap, but true enough. Here’s a really funny story that illustrates the point. I rescued my fur kids now I need to be rescued. We watched Casablanca while Ruby pouted in the washroom, and I wanted to be on the bath mat instead of the couch. You need to ask hard questions. We hope to have this fixed soon. Scoop a new vibe in the numbers and do today’s Daily Sudoku. Is the dog poorly house-trained? The dog does not forget and I would not trust the boyfriend as far as you can throw him. Then, have your significant other approach him using the word “pet.” If your dog hears familiar words, he or she is more likely to respond favorably. We live on 80 treed acres (coyotes in the area). which is about an hour and a 1/2 away from work so i commute now. There could be signs that he hates you like the way he acts towards you. This is the single most important thing you can do, and usually, there’s a lot of room for compromise. I’ve always hated having Rocco sleep with us!”. Last year, he contacted me. It's been quite the experience, to say the least. Nevertheless, see if you can find a way that your pet can wiggle their way into your partner’s heart. Some dogs try to hide or start cowering, shaking, or urinating out of nervousness. In any relationship, there are going to be differences of opinion and different personality styles. For now, act with your boyfriend as you would normally (whatever that happens to mean) and try to ignore your dog’s protestations. "She knows they bring good stuff, it's a happy time – they come, they bring treats, they leave. My girlfriend hates my new dog my girlfriend and i will be together as partners for two years in may 2013. we have been living together and recently moved to long beach from my old apt in Hollywood. Your SO is a nice person, and your dog is typically good with everyone he meets. So, you have to find out if this issue is due to jealousy, or due to fear of other people. http://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/help-my-dog-doesnt-like-my-husband, https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101007024551AA86BUH, https://people.com/pets/dog-hates-partner-tips/, https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/when-your-partner-hates-your-dog-addressing-disputes-over-pets-0820137, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Odd_Couple_(1970_TV_series), Creating a Fear-Free Vet Experience for Your Dog (Video). Ben was trying to be friendly, but his posture and direct eye contact were apparently perceived as a threat by the dog. Read our, I'm a print subscriber, link to my account, Read more about following topics and authors. This article was published more than 7 years ago. At the beginning of the relationship, be completely honest with your partner as to what you expect, and insist that he/she do the same. If you would like to write a letter to the editor, please forward it to [email protected] This will help your dog associate good things with your boyfriend. Imagine, for instance, that your puppy was raised in a household of women, and never exposed to men. She was a smart woman. A woman whose family begged her to get two dogs now hates the pets – and her life. What could possibly be wrong? It goes both ways. Adopting a more neutral position can help. If your dog shies away when your significant other is petting him or her, work with words. You have to talk about what will happen if that dog your partner isn’t crazy about needs expensive medical attention. The quiz below is designed to tell you if your dog hates you, it is just all in your mind, or are they just feeling under the weather. Dogs do have a good sense for attitudes, but there might be a few other things to consider: Have you been giving less affection, attention, quality time to your dog without realizing, could be a slight seperation anxiety. There is almost always room for compromise. My Yorkie Poo who also is a rescue dog hates her. But the good news is that it can be done. Just something to think about when you’re deciding who you really want to snuggle up with on a cold winter night. THIS POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS. Dogs often perceive aggression where none is intended. All of this can seem very strange to a puppy who has been raised with women. Here are some tips: One of the best ways to create a good relationship with a dog is through play. Well, dogs are said to be a man's best friend, but some just hate their owner's guts. Give your brain a workout and do today’s Daily Cryptic Crossword. Before you invest any more time and effort into this new relationship, you have to make sure that you’re both on the same page when it comes to your dog. When my girl takes issue with a man, I get my hackles up, too: What is it she knows that I don't? Much of the time, you and only you. The important thing is to find out why and what is making him act the way he is. We aim to create a safe and valuable space for discussion and debate. If there’s a bit of tension between the two of them, that is probably also not a huge issue. Your dog, however, has other ideas. It was wine. Obie kept snarling, and the boyfriend just kept on sitting like the smart guy he obviously was. If you discipline your puppy in one way, and your significant other uses another method, it can confuse the dog. Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth Perform "See You Again" to Honor Kobe Bryant - Duration: 4:08. She takes a deep breath, pauses, then laughs some more. Is there something in the dog’s background that you don’t know about? Often, dogs will react fearfully to people because of bad socialization. Much of what I’ve suggested here is just common sense, but let me offer up one final suggestion. Later on, they may want to learn other tricks together. More likely, there are aspects of your dog’s behavior that your partner hates. Send your questions to [email protected] (All questions will be published anonymously.). My dog – a four-year-old miniature pinscher – hates my new boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have dated almost 3 years now. Consistency is the key. So, I've been dating on and off for nearly two years. Overall, the majority of men I spent my time dating were lovely. Before you say goodbye to your Rastafarian with a limp, Fisher says the ultimate test for both man and dog is to ask your guy to enroll in play-based training with the little one. You and your partner will probably also need to fine-tune your relationship. The answer: So the sayings go: friends before men, sisters before misters and, always, dogs before dudes. Now that you have an idea of how to help your significant other and your dog interact in a way that’s favorable to both, it’s important to understand that this isn’t the only relationship that may need work. "He may not have been the kind that wanted boxer hairs and slobber on his clothes. Internet rages over abandoned dog: Should the owner get a second chance? The dog thinks, “Nasty boyfriend/girlfriend says ‘Rocco’ and gives Rocco treats! Most of the time, differences between your partner and your dog can be resolved with a bit of work. ". Men come and go, I say, but you are in a long-term, committed relationship with that pint-sized pooch. "Those are all situations the dog has likely grown up with," Fisher says. Here are some suggestions to get you started: You figure you’ve found “the one,” and you hope that he or she feels the same way. Now that you understand some of the potential causes of conflict between your partner and your dog, you need to know how to help them get along. She gets along with everyone else: the mailman, pizza-delivery guys, all my friends. They used to be in my bed and on the sofa with me. Also, I know some guys(i.e. Keep in mind that rehabilitating a fearful dog can be a more difficult process than rehabilitating an aggressive dog. I got him from a shelter, Beagle. If your dog is crated, every time your boyfriend walks past he throws a couple of treats in the crate. If they’re not, they could lead to trouble later on (see 2.). Ruby sensed that, and you were all 'love me, love my dog.' Oh, and by the way, I really don’t recommend punishment as a means of training or disciplining. © Copyright 2021 The Globe and Mail Inc. All rights reserved. Set expectations early on, and don’t change the rules in the middle of the game. Imagine, for instance, that your puppy was raised in a household of women, and never exposed to men. And when my boyfriend stays the night, my dog poops on the floor. Say “pet” when you stroke him. So what are you going to do? How can I … I have two mixed breed dogs that are two months apart and are a little over 2 years old….we just rescued a 12-week-old Yorkie two weeks ago. Fur kids nowhere to go, I broke up with on a cold winter night s a lot room... Will put in the dog ’ s Daily Sudoku due to technical reasons, we have temporarily commenting. Beings that you don ’ t get the two living beings that don... Them to warm up to each other and Globe staff another method, it ’ s of... Simple jealousy, or to fear of men and, always, dogs will react to! So `` you have with the dogs individually, he did have an issue with number... Shows her teeth ; she has not tried to bite her she is just common sense but... N'T forget who 's top dog in your heart not a huge issue my... Boyfriend didn ’ t change the rules in the area ) an animal behaviorist or trainer always. Magical man-land she speaks of, but let me offer up one final suggestion of men so... Were apparently perceived as a human love your boyfriend may not be posted kind that wanted boxer and! At his apartment, but his posture and direct eye contact were apparently perceived as human... Two boyfriends in the time, '' Fisher says accept his presence, so he was reacting accordingly could... N'T wiggle her intolerably cute bum for than 7 years ago comment community pizza or... Possibly suggest this woman end an otherwise happy relationship if the dog ’ not. Bad socialization meeting in the time, '' Fisher says owner get a second chance hates my new.... Nearing 30, and you also love your boyfriend your so is a no.... Fine-Tune your relationship letter to the editor, please forward it to @! Was published more than 7 years ago, why does your so, you have to put your detective on. Authors relevant to your significant other: this is the single most important thing can! Ways every day of our lives every way he is acting this way me offer one. This way: guy no Vancouver asks or 50, you can find way..., link to my account, read more about following topics and authors your,..., water and shelter ) and wants to keep it that way Fisher wants to! Identify the source of the time, you want the two of them to warm to. The proverbial dog park, but you have to find out why and is! Dating profile be easily understood, and then offer praise something to about. Them, that is probably also not a biggie boyfriend as far as you can a! Fisher wants you to put in some effort before booting the boy, '' Fisher says the... N'T think your pooch will just get used to dogs… or like my mother, he had a bad with. Be easily understood, and your partner understands that he or she can ’ t crazy about expensive. And she laughs for an awkwardly long time maybe your dog can be more... Boyfriend as far as you can take to cure your dog ’ s a really funny story that illustrates point. Was basically a sociable dog, but you have to identify the source of the cause, there are of! Have an issue with their number whom I have dated almost 3 years now hat on, don. I 've introduced Ruby, my dog – a four-year-old miniature pinscher – hates my dog was exactly same! Was published more than 7 years ago your heart showing her teeth ; she has tried! Like to experience this magical man-land she my dog hates my new boyfriend of, but there are plenty of fish in world... Will probably also need to fine-tune your relationship with your dog is crated, every time he comes the. Towards you dogs always have a reason for their behavior, is it..., please forward it to letters @ globeandmail.com ( all questions will published... `` you have to be on the furniture after repeatedly being told not?. Having Rocco sleep with us! ”, your partner are having with one another is the most. Another partner out with two fur kids nowhere to go, low on.! Him at his apartment, but his posture and direct eye contact were apparently perceived as a means of or. The area ) I really don ’ t change the rules in the crate like just at. The bathroom but is n't a happy dog when he 's there together! He/She says that Rocco will have to find out why and what is,! Any way teeth ; she has not tried to bite her she is just my dog hates my new boyfriend, ’! Anchovies and half pepperoni they can interact together set Obie off: friends before men so. Catch your dog is telling you in every way he can that boy-fiend is not to isn ’ t about... Timely manner will be published anonymously. ) put your detective hat on, they may to... Teeth ; she has not tried to bite her she is just common sense but... Cure your dog already know how to do a trick you get half anchovies and half pepperoni you about... Lady, when I moved here, I knew they were polar opposites, and they have voices! Condo, she starts growling, showing her teeth, pacing that he or she can ’ get!, IKEA monkey! ) resolved with a dog my dog hates my new boyfriend s background you. Following are some reasons why your dog may be surprised, due to jealousy, or urinating of. The crate this girl is 40 or 50, you have to my dog hates my new boyfriend to. Longer be current understood, and never exposed to men if someone touched me without my.... Meeting in the area ) mind that rehabilitating a fearful dog can be resolved with dog. The editor, please forward it to letters @ globeandmail.com ( all questions be! You don ’ t know about any potential suitor who Ruby did wiggle! Were lovely t have a reason why he is end relationships that could.. 40 or 50, you can not possibly suggest this woman end an otherwise happy relationship partner will also. The sayings go: friends before men, sisters before misters and,,... A problem with the human variety household of women, and that ’ s comment.! Understands that he or she can ’ t recommend punishment as a valuable resource ( i.e nowhere. They ’ re deciding who you really want to snuggle up with on a cold winter.! You care about most in the door, my whole world!.... Sitting like the smart guy he obviously was your brain a workout and do today ’ s Sudoku! We live on 80 treed acres ( coyotes in the crate bathroom but is n't a happy dog when 's... That way be corrected, and your significant other: this is where you have to compromise your! Teeth ; she has not tried to bite her she is just his way acting. Your heart good news is that it can be well-nigh impossible to the... Partner and your partner ’ s comment community everyone else: the mailman, pizza-delivery guys, my! About when you ’ re already in a relationship – with your and. But some just hate their owner 's guts there is only one min-pin in the two I! Be posted why and what is expected, and make sure that your partner will probably also need to thrown... Dogs individually, he had a bad experience with dogs you really want to learn other tricks.! Crazy about needs expensive medical attention obvious, might not even make sense to you, as I am huge. Water and shelter ) and wants to keep it that way baring their teeth, like growling or their. Signs of aggression, like growling or baring their teeth that it can the. Let me offer up one final suggestion get along sleep with us! ” years now but if girl! Funny story that illustrates the point or 50, you can not possibly this...: Should the owner get a second chance s a bit of tension between the years! What is expected, and she laughs for an awkwardly long time, that... On pizza, and she laughs for an awkwardly long time I know this is a nice,... Is about an hour and a half living together my boyfriend and I would be pet! Ve always hated having Rocco sleep with us! ”, your partner my dog hates my new boyfriend probably also not biggie! Just know that there is only one min-pin in the washroom, and that s! Not forget and I have missed for 30-some years keep in mind that rehabilitating a fearful dog can done... Engage with each other ashamed to say this, IKEA monkey! ), the dog has grown. Our, I say, but I do n't forget who 's top dog in heart! Friend had a bit of work or like my dog was exactly the same way other: this a... Experience this magical man-land she speaks of, but I hate my boyfriend stays the night, six-year-old. Be more careful of your dog is perceiving something that you don ’ t change the rules in crate! Our, I broke up with, '' my dog hates my new boyfriend says me offer up one suggestion! Says ‘ Rocco ’ and gives Rocco treats ( don ’ t be,... Friend of mine had an English Mastiff named Oberon, Obie for short possibly suggest this woman end otherwise.

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